Communication and compromise are critical when it comes to resolving money disputes with your spouse or significant other. Kiplinger’s Janet Bodner says in her book, Kiplinger’s Money Smart Women, that it’s imperative to practice practical money-management techniques with your partner to deal with certain issues that will most definitely cause you stress.

Spending too much. If one half of a couple is a spender and the other is a saver, there will most definitely be conflict. On the other hand two spenders could end up on the brink of bankruptcy. No matter what the circumstance, each of you would benefit if you wrote down your goals (a new house, new car, vacation, etc.) and how much you need to achieve them and whether you’re on track or not. Once you see the numbers in black and white, it might convince you that you need to spend less, or even feel more comfortable about spending more. Another solution is to allow each of you access to an account from which you can spend as much as you wish, no questions asked. Or agree that on purchases above a certain amount—say, $500 or more—you’ll consult with each other before buying.

Passing the buck. Whether it’s on purpose or not, one spouse usually ends up as the “keeper of the books.” Bodner says this situation can make the bookkeeper bitter at being stuck with a thankless task, or make the other spouse resentful about being out of the loop. She recommends taking turns managing the checkbook, or having regular conversations so that both of you are clear about what’s going on.  She also suggests “role reversal,” in which each spouse does something characteristic of the other, as another way to resolve financial differences. For example, a hoarder might indulge in a spur-of-the-moment purchase, or a spender might slip some money into an envelope and put it aside. Then you can compare notes and reward yourselves (not necessarily with money).

Taking risk—or not. Often it’s men who are the risk-takers because they feel more confident in their ability to earn back any losses. Bodner says you can come to terms with different tolerances for risk if you each realize it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. To take control, set a limit on how much to risk - say 10% of your assets. If you’re reluctant to move beyond the safety of a bank, take it one step at a time by investing in an index mutual fund—such as Vanguard’s Total Market Index fund, which spreads the risk by investing in the entire stock market. If you’re unable to reach an agreement, seek advice from an investor or financial planner.

Merging your assets. Is pooling your assets a good idea or not? Bodner says there no right answer to that question, as long as at least one of you is responsible for paying the bills and you’re both comfortable with the system you’ve chosen. Nowadays, it’s common for both spouses to enter the marriage employed, so it’s understandable if you each want to have your own savings or checking accounts.  Whatever your situation, expect to meet each other halfway, Bodner says. Try paying household bills from a joint account in which you both contribute based on your income.

Bodner stresses that women shouldn’t fall into the pattern of taking over management of day-to-day concerns while their husbands make the big decisions, like saving for your kids’ college or investing for retirement, since he doesn’t necessarily know anything more about these subjects than she does. Each person should have a clear understanding of his or her financial situation in order to be an equal financial partner in the relationship.